Forgiveness and Homosexuality
Forgiveness and the Straight Community
Some straight people find it difficult to forgive gay people for being gay, because gay people somehow violate their sense of morality. In reality, God sets the ultimate standards of morality. You did not set moral standards . You were not even alive when God made His standards of right and wrong. You had absolutely nothing to do with those moral standards. If there has been an offence against anybody, the offence has not been against you. The word "if" is critical. That is a big word. There is lot of debate in Christian circles if the Bible condemns homosexual relationships. A careful study of the Bible texts that are commonly used to condemn gay people shows that God is offended by the worship of other gods. They also show that God is offended when hospitality and acts of charity are not extended to people in need. Only God has the right to discipline those who do not live according to His standards. Nobody has the right or the authority to harm another person or to verbally abuse another person because that person might have violated God's law.
Straight people who falsely imagine gay people to be violating their moral standards may feel a lot of anger toward gay people. As a result of intense anger, some people lash out in fear and anger, hurting gay people with words of condemnation, verbal and physical bullying, and gay bashing. There is a lot of debate if God is actually offended by long-term same-gender relationships. But there is no debate that hurting gay people is a sin. Rejecting gay people, making fun of gays, condemning homosexuals to hell or assaulting gay people is a sin and an abomination to God.
The straight person who cannot easily cope with anger against gay people and who spends a lot of energy attacking gay people actually makes gay people into an idol or a god. So much energy is spent aiming their anger at gay people a healthy life perspective is lost. The only way to get the weight of hate and anger off your back is to forgive those with whom you are angry.
One important step in forgiving others is to obtain forgiveness from God for doing inappropriate things with your anger. Fortunately, God forgives us when we make mistakes, when we express our anger in ways that hurt people. Seeking God's forgiveness for the times you may have lashed out against gay people, spoken harsh words about homosexuals or told jokes that demean gay people can help. Those who are feel forgiven may find it easier to extend forgiveness.
If you can remember times you have hurt gay people, you may want to read the following prayer and make it your prayer.
Lord, forgive me for treating gay people as second class citizens, for promoting inaccurate stereotypes of gay people, for crusading against allowing gay people the same rights other people enjoy, for allowing anger to creep into my voice and to show on my face and in body language whenever people bring up the topic of homosexuality. Please forgive me for telling degrading jokes about gay people.
My actions brought dishonor to Your name and have inflicted pain in Your name. My deeds drove people away from You. Forgive me Lord for desecrating Your name by my actions and for treating You like dirt every time I treated a gay person like a second class citizen. I've sinned against You and against the gay community.
Remove my fear of gay people, so I can love people as You would have me love gay people. Show me practical ways to love and encourage gay people. Remove the paralysis of guilt and self-condemnation so I can extend love and acceptance to gays. Amen.
As a general rule, the more we understand people and how they feel, the easier it is to forgive people. The unusual traits a person may have can seem reasonable when one learns enough about that person to understand why the person acts in a certain way. You are encouraged to read a few prayers written by a gay Christian. Those prayers may help you understand how some gay people feel. Once you understand how some gay people feel, you are in a much better position to love gay people and to serve gay people in a way that brings honor to God and to gay people. The prayers of one gay Christian can be found by clicking here.